February 2012
45 posts
Berlin kicked me so hard in the lip it bent my lip ring.
I think this bitch wants to fight.
I wanna play Draw Something but no one will play ADD ME lets play NOW!
g0regasmic
Dear Women,
Today I write this apology letter to all the women out there.
What have I done? Oh nothing.
I just wanted to apologize for a whole sex.
Over the past few weeks I’ve began social network watching how males act after a eye rolling moment via tumblr.
All friends, and even family that are MALE, tend to share a few things in common.
1. They all have the BIGGEST PENISES IN THE WORLD! So big...
Dolphin Safe Tuna.
After watching family guy, a friend and I got into a heated debate over “Dolphin Safe” Tuna. If you weren’t around in the 80s you wouldn’t know much of this crazy tuna issue.
Long story short, Dolphins were being killed in tuna fishing practices. The world got all faggy and “OMG DON’T KILL DOLPHINS!” So they started a “Dolphin Safe” way of...
Guilty!
Dear Tumblr,
I lazy parented today.
Not gonna lie, I woke up at 5am with Ash bitching, got him back to bed around 6, laid down hoping to sleep that hour, but no Berlin woke up at about 6:08.
I totally locked her in my bed room with blue clues and slept…
Or as I love to hear lazy parents say: “She just went into the other room to do really intellectual things like read a few books...
Don't think I say it enough...
Even if I let my vagina show;
Sometimes late at night I creep into Berlins room and climb into bed with her. Sometimes I fall asleep with her for awhile.
Where would I be without these 2? If it wasn’t for Star Wars and Berlin and Ash, I’d have no sanity.
What aches me today...
The past couple days I have heard so much ignorant shit via facebook.
This months topic? For some reason it seems like the world is back on the topic of gays.
Haven’t we been over this one already? Kinda old news now.
Normally I don’t target a specific group, but unfortunately this one comes from a majority of the African and hispanic males I have via facebook. (Not just limited to...
lazydad asked: Stefanie better watch her man, otherwise you'll start doing other super-gay stuff like going to work in an office and going to the dentist for bi-annual checkups!
3 tags
PLZ READ REALLY IMPORTANT!!!
Imperial Intelligence Agents Serving Hoth Even if it doesnt happen to you, it is a warning worth being aware about! This is not a joke originator was at a crimewatch meeting on 18th and the agents requested this was sent out Worth Passing On! This is happening now! Sad, especially if you are inclined to ‘help’ people… While driving on a rural end...
Valentines day!
OMG VALENTINES! Sending everyone nudes!
For all those who asked:
We just got home after having to tie down Ash for his CAT Scan, now we play the waiting game. The doctor isn’t so concerned and warned us not to worry, he feels as though Ash’s growth spurt may have been why his skull is just about fully formed, he feels because for his body size he is about the size of a 1 year old, he feels the skull is just fusing as it should be for its size, BUT...
Mabel loves a rebel.
donkeysalright:
Her favorites are:
Darth Vader
Emperor Palpatine
Darth Maul
Joker
Killer Croc
and Lotso
Hopefully she grows out of it before she hits her teenage years and moves on to assholes and junkies like I did.
(Disclaimer: Trent is not an asshole. In fact, he’s the only non-asshole I’ve ever dated. He is also the cutest.)
I feel as though I am the man to fix the error in the...
TMI tuesday
Eatin’ dinner.
AXE ME SUMFING
1 tag
donkeysalright replied to your photo: We upgraded. Paid cash, no extra expenses. (Taken…
GET A BIGGER CAR, ASSHOLE! (totally kidding. it’s pretty fucking sweet.)
Think of all the animals I can run over with that thing and all the ozone I’m destroying!
Then after I run them over I’ll viciously eat them! It’s okay though, I donate to PETA. and I’m an animal lover!
...
Leftover rib roast
+ romaine lettuce
+ red cabbage
+ grape tomatoes
+ non fat cheedar
+ handful of sunflower kernels
=
My erection for the night.
Quotes for a friend:
I lived by these quotes during some of the roughest times in life. To support a friend of mine I am placing them here, yet truth is, ALOT of you could read and analyze them. Live by them.
“Everybody thinks of changing humanity, but nobody thinks of changing himself.” - Leo Tolstoy
“No one can make you jealous, angry, vengeful, or greedy - unless you let him.”
-Napolean...
Sippy-cup and shoes!
We have been teaching Berlin to say Sippy-cup instead of “Where is it?” when she is thirsty.
Now I got a little girl that runs around my house saying:
Pika! Pika!
Occasionally I’ll throw in a “Where are your shoes Berlin?” ,for the hell of it,
Just so I get the response,
“Chu! Chu!”
Be jealous bitches, I got a pikachu running around my house all...
